This morning it was revealed that the healing and growth I had been seeking all my life, has been - to a great degree - accomplished.
As the youngest of 7, my role in the family heirarchy was always to be one who others have power over. This was cringingly obvious with my mother recently when I tried so hard to be there for her; No matter what I did, the response was always the same - you are nothing compared to me. You have no value. This morning I had the very same experience with my brother, not saying the exact words but with all other forms of communication - you are nothing compared to me.
Yet, just a few hours earlier, my son had brought me to tears by saying, “Your unconditional love is the most precious gift of my lifetime and gives me all of my strength, wisdom & courage, and I can never thank you enough.”
(Hmmm - shall I listen to my brother? or my son?)
So, it seems I learned a thing or two along the way.
I am so humbly grateful to have been given the amazing opportunity to pass my hard-earned wisdom on to my son, who has taken that gift and already done amazing things with it, and will continue to do more amazing things with it.
As it turns out,
I am the one who has successfully transmuted trauma.
I am the one who embodies resilience.
I am the one who has learned the value and importance of love.
I am the one who is not a slave.
I am the one who has risen above my own ego.
(Is it egotistcal to say that????)
My eschewing of the family culture has turned out to be the best course I ever charted. My wanderings of the past few years, being semi-homeless, have taught me the ultimate in patience, forgiveness, gratitude, humility and generosity…. qualities which are shockingly absent in my family culture.
Rejecting material success, more than anything else I’ve ever done, has given me access to God’s Infinite, Loving Grace
I know I have achieved a new level in my journey, because my reaction to my brother’s vitriol, was LOVE. In that moment when he lashed out at me, I saw that person who needs to keep someone else down in order to feel good about himself. I recognized all the unhealed wounds, and I had absolute empathy. “Breathe,” I whispered.
From this new vantage point, I have the confidence and courage to move forward with my goals and dreams of being a steward of Divine Creativity. This is God’s plan for me, and He will lay the path before me as he has done so incredibly well these past few years. Now, as never before, I Trust In Him.
And, I trust in the magnificent quantum future!
Growing up at the bottom of the dung heap turned out to be exactly what I needed to become a visionary of New Earth. I may not be quite as eloquent or loquacious as Sacha Stone - YET - but I’m always doing better. And now I’m ready & willing to step out of my solitary existence, to accept greater & greater responsibilities as New Earth comes more clearly into our sights.
Land Ho!
Are You Ready????????
It’s a Biblical week ahead!!!
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